A world dating with new friends

We’re two sisters that live across the country from each other and think it’s really hard to meet new friends - like really good friends, not acquaintances. I lived in Florida and although the people were friendly and I was very active socially, and I did make friends, it was very transitory.We used to complain about it to each other and one day we decided we should stop complaining and do something about it. Now I live in New York and am still trying to find my niche in this community.Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.

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Using dating sites to find love is inefficient and prone to failure.

We typically set the stakes too high, and centuries worth of societal tropes and expectations can cripple the authenticity of our interactions.

The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends.

Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical.

Consider when a friend invites you to a trivia night and you meet one of their other friends there and hit it off, or when you go to a friend’s birthday party and bump into someone new.

Unfortunately, our friends typically share similar social networks as us, so it’s a bit harder for them to introduce us to our existing social networks.

Despite the romantic promise of most dating sites, the likelihood of discovering that your internet date is truly compatible with you across all major dimensions of compatibility is quite low.

According to PEW research, as of last year, only 11% of US adults have used online dating sites, and of those, only 23% have actually entered into a relationship with someone they met there.

This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.

Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.

I find people seek romantic relationships instead of friendships to avoid that transitory feeling, and also to feel emotionally safer.

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