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I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.
However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).
We must take a look at who we are drawn to in the first place, and why.
If you keep attracting (and are attracted to) men who are emotionally unavailable and who treat you poorly, then it really doesn’t matter if your dating prospects are from France, New York, Vancouver or Mars – the shift needs to occur within you first and foremost.
This breeds a generation of men who have habits of looking after their own needs versus the needs of the collective. Europeans don’t get their sexual education from porn. European men have a different perception of beauty.
For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).
The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…
There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.
I love our French men as long as I do not have to date them." "I don't have tons of experience with Americans, but the ones I have dated tend to be much more open about how they are feeling and what they want, which makes it easier to date. A certain degree of selfishness is essential for a well-working relationship and New Yorkers seem to have that built into their DNA." "As a general rule, Americans are not going to beat around the bush.
When they feel something, they will tell you -- whether it's that they like, want, or don't like or want something.
They grow up developing friendships with the opposite sex and in turn, develop more empathy and understanding of the opposite sex.
In American culture, there is a clear segregation of the sexes, boys play with boys and do boy things and girls do the same.
In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating