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When preference is coloured with years of viewing black men and women as inferior and not worthy of attraction let alone love, it is difficult to prove that preference is simply preference and not awash with racist undertones.
And so, when black women specifically seek out white men, it is similarly difficult to prove that it is solely a preference and not as a result of internalized racism and self-hate.
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article titled “Top 7 reasons why single black men don’t approach black women.” Perhaps I am the perfect example of the problem in thinking I am too good for the pitiful responses that black men are giving for not dating black women.
Maybe I was born with an extra dosage of sass but when black men say “black women aren’t supportive enough” or “don’t seem fun enough,” this only evokes a scoff and an eye roll.
I recognize that people have a preference when it comes to looks, but to only seek a person from one race amidst a history of a structural power division should not be exempt from arguments of internalized racism and self-hate.
When I hear a non-black person say they are not attracted to black women “as a personal preference” it is hard not to take this as a personal blow and an attack on my race at large.
If you are told on a daily basis that people who look like you are unattractive and undeserving of love, a natural reaction would be to seek out that which is being denied to you as a form of validation of self-worth.
To determine whether a love interest is a result of internalized racism would be near to impossible. No-one is suggesting that we are post-racial (words that should have you flogged) but maybe it’s just not that deep.
She is a creative who graces Instagram with each artistic post. You question whether she’s a painter in her spare time, as each picture looks delicately crafted as if dipped in some kind of melanated honey.
It was in one fateful post in which I saw her with her white bae. She’s an avid reader and one imagines what it would be like to be her best friend: “Shall we read and chill? But first, let me head wrap.” These fantasies will forever be a goal.
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