stanford college dating - Dating and relationship and baggage

Was it possible I was using dating and relationships as an antidote to the pain?

These were bright red flashing warning signals that I needed to pay attention to because if I didn’t sort out my emotions, they would become worse over time and eventually handicap my ability to freely and maturely love someone else. Because divorce is a traumatic event, there will always be some sort of pain associated with memories of your divorce, even when you are happy.

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A disadvantage here is that if you are not prepared to answer difficult questions towards the beginning you either have to lie or communicate that you are not ready to discuss it yet which can make the other person feel as though you have something major you’re hiding.

A second disadvantage here is that when you decide to dump your baggage (and we all have some) on someone it can be very difficult for them to deal with all at one time.

They may feel deceived and question whether they knew you at all.

A final disadvantage is that when you hold on to your “bombs” in your “baggage” you are insecure in the relationship because you don’t know how the person is going to respond once they discover the ugliness of your past.

That’s natural, but those occurrences should be benign events that pass quickly.

If they don’t, you’ve got to heed the warning, roll up your sleeves and do a little dirty work.

Taking these steps will help your heart become truly free from attachments and baggage and you will eventually be ready to give it to someone else.

It’s been said that a house isn’t clean if the closets are dirty.

They want you to pay attention to the warning signs so you can get to the root of the problem before something catastrophic happens.

This is a very similar scenario when it comes to the effect emotional baggage has on romantic relationships.

In my own experience, there were many different pieces of emotional baggage I was dragging around with me after my divorce.

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