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I’m seeing someone at the moment and while we have been speaking for 9 months, we have only just started physically meeting up (since August we’ve met 4 times). I want to talk to him all the time and see him all the time, but unfortunately due to unfortunate circumstances (see previous post) we don’t meet as often as i’d like. I'm black and gay and 28 years old, and I'm autistic and alone. I swipe on so many people, and they don't match with me back. (They disowned me.) So I can't rely on family to set me up with someone. I like guys that are more into stuff I wouldn't dream about being interested in.
My heart jumps every time he msgs, and I think about him non-stop. Has it happened to anyone before 🥺I keep thinking he’s disinterested because of the shitty texting. My speaking voice is also high, and I have afro hair. Like computer programming, auto mechanics, weightlifting, truck driving, outdoorstuff. I kinda like more rugged, and teddy bear like guys. I feel I'm living in some type of fantasy land because of my type, and I couldn't give a solitary fuck. Because I'm a gay feminine, Childish Gambino looking black guy.
We started chatting but never had a proper conversation, both logged in at different times.
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He told me that it's actually weird to just walk up to a girl randomly and say hey in the States. The anxiety you get sometimes before approaching a gorgeous woman. I've been in a few relationships before (all lasting a few months, all fun, and all ended by circumstances outside my control).
He said that it could be viewed as assault, as the girl ”the girl might not want to talk to you" is that true? If a girl doesn't like you she'll let you know or you might get a number that isn't let's say... Even getting rejected, to realize that it isn't a big deal. Sometimes I say absolute shit and look like an idiot. They've all been great, I've learned a lot about dating and about myself, but (and I know this is shallow)- every girl I've dated has a history of anxiety and/or depression that began before I met them, and which I've found out about AFTER we start dating.
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