Dating touring musician

a.m.: Today I went and worked out for an hour; I lifted weights, and I ran. We learn a different discipline every week and apply it. p.m.: I came home, and my three interns came over. I do so many things that I always have a project related to what we're talking about.

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It won't work for everybody, of course, but it's certainly worked for White Mystery.

a.m.: On a day like today, I wake up at like in the morning.

We were secretly hoping to keep those types of moments to a minimum and only expose you to that sort of thing at, say, family holiday parties. But for normal people, carrying heavy things up and down stairs and then trying to Tetris them into a van that’s too small is a pain in the ass.

And how you are now a witness to our weird, dysfunctional-family dynamic. I mean, if you’re gonna show up with a crane and a ladder and you're strong enough to carry an Ampeg 8x10 bass cabinet over one shoulder, you’re definitely invited.

That’s the kind of person he or she is, and that behavior will exist in various forms on off the road.

So basically, you should worry about it all the time, not just when they’re on tour.

I get up, I make coffee – like six cups of coffee – and I sit down at my computer and open my inbox.

I see what's in there while the coffee's brewing, make my bed, pour myself a cup, and sit down and start looking at my emails. I start answering them in order of easiest to answer to hardest, which may not be the best strategy, but that's how we do it because I kind of like to get those easy ones out.

Not only is it, again, distracting for the band, but it’s, again, boring for you to hear each individual drum head hit over and over and over. I’ve been dragged to enough sound checks to know that the only one I should ever be at is my own. But the thing is, there are already too many people in the van. Think about this for a minute: do you really want the four of us to stand over your shoulder at your job where you’ve convinced your coworkers that you are a professional, upstanding member of society? If we told you you’re not allowed to watch football or garden or make films or build tiny ships in bottles or work out at the gym or do whatever it is you like to do, you would probably be super bummed.

And even if your SO really wants you there, the rest of us don’t. It makes some people uncomfortable and it changes the group dynamic that we rely on to play shows. Band practice may take your SO away from you for a few hours a week—or even a few weeks or months if they’re on tour—but you went into this relationship knowing this person was a musician.

In the spirit of our Valentine’s Day issue, which is brimming with love . I’ve sat on an amp against the wall and wondered what I should do. The only exception to this rule is if you live together and sound check is an errand you must run in between going to Walgreen’s and going to Costco.

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