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While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across a link to a Gawker article that one of my friends reposted.
In an essay entitled "The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black," writer Ernest Baker tackles big topics like Eurocentric beauty standards, the taboo aspect of interracial relationships, and why he dates white women, among others: Why do I date white women?
I went to a predominantly white high school where I was one of maybe five black kids.
I grew up thinking that because I looked different, I somehow wasn't good enough.
When you look at the role models of my youth, the people and products the media put forth and said, “This is beauty personified,” you’ll notice a distinct theme: Barbie, Britney Spears, Polly Pocket, Sailor Moon, Mandy Moore, Mary Kate and Ashley — all white.
I was fully submerged, I mean genuinely immersed, in a culture where people like me weren’t valued as beautiful, so much so that I remember wishing the thick, coarse hair on my American Girl doll, Addy, was straighter and “prettier,” like that of my other dolls.
I started thinking about the media and asking myself what qualities I was actually attracted to in a man, specifically my boyfriend, versus what qualities I'd been taught to find attractive.
Part of me used to envy how soft, straight, and blond his hair was.
I had dated a few guys before, all assholes, and I didn’t think many people would show interest in me.
I looked down at my fingertips, stained deep mocha from my foundation, and felt self-conscious.
After years and years of internalizing the beauty standard promoted all around me, I headed off to college with a low self-esteem and essentially no sense of self-worth.
I went out to a frat party with my roommate on our first night.
I couldn't stop repeating the first part of the Clutch headline over and over again in my head. She wrote in a Huffington Post blog late last year: It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating