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Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?
A guy once told me that, “A man is devastated at the end of a relationship to the extent to which he sold himself out.” What does it mean for a guy to sell himself out (in the context of a relationship)?
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.
When we believe something that is out of alignment with reality, we suffer…
To wrap up this point: Most people can’t recognize when they believe something impossible, nor can they see the false belief as the source for all of the suffering…For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…or they blame the other person for not “making them happy”… It’s incredibly painful to believe that someone else could be responsible for your emotions or that you could possibly be responsible for their emotions.It changes the guy and, in turn, changes the relationship. Hook up with a bunch of girls and have a series of flings.As a result, the relationship usually suffers and, in the case of this example, ends. I mean, think about it – no chance of love, no chance of commitment (and therefore, no risk of falling into being a way he doesn’t want to be and doing things he doesn’t want to do) and plenty of plausible external validation that the guy is a “worthy man” since he’s getting so much ass.In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. MORE: 5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t) In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating