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Rather than confront the fact that this person and I were emotionally incompatible, I cheated." —Mary, 31"To get my needs met""I felt dissatisfied with the romance/sex in the relationship, even if it was a stable and loving one.There ended up being a lot of tension, as he expected me to do all the work to make our relationship 'spark' again, and didn't lift a finger, didn't communicate with me, and didn't really react when I did try.Eventually, I got tired of bothering and slept with someone else to get my needs met." —Kay, 32"I didn't feel like myself""I felt like I was stuck in a relationship I didn't want to be in.
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I would say it was the straw that broke the camel's back, but if I was honest with myself, it was broken long before that." —Mari, 35"I didn't know I could talk to my partner""I cheated because I didn't know I could talk to my partner about what else I needed in the relationship—kinkier sex, or more attention, or just more understanding about when I needed more space." —Kim, 35"We stopped being physically intimate""I lived with my boyfriend, and because he was moving across the country to go to law school and I wasn't going to go with him or do long distance, he thought we should slowly stop being physically intimate with each other.
Then, I met someone who wanted to have sex with me and we had a two-month-long affair and it was hot.
Here's what they shared: Why men have cheated"For the first time, women were hitting on me""I cheated on my girlfriend because I could.
I never had a lot of sexual options through high school and college, but after school, I really hit my stride.
Infidelity may be ubiquitous, but the way we make meaning of it—how we define it, experience it, and talk about it—is ultimately linked to the particular time and place where the drama unfolds.
In contemporary discourse in the United States, affairs are primarily described in terms of the damage caused.
Around the globe, the responses I get when I mention infidelity range from bitter condemnation to resigned acceptance to cautious compassion to outright enthusiasm.
In Paris, the topic brings an immediate frisson to a dinner conversation, and I note how many people have been on both sides of the story.
It is a shock that makes us question our past, our future, and even our very identity. If Priya’s husband, Colin, were to stumble upon a text, a photo, or an email that revealed his wife’s dalliance, he would be devastated.
Indeed, the maelstrom of emotions unleashed in the wake of an affair can be so overwhelming that many psychologists turn to the field of trauma to explain the symptoms: obsessive rumination, hypervigilance, numbness and dissociation, inexplicable rages, uncontrollable panic. And thanks to modern technology, his pain would likely be magnified by an archive of electronic evidence of her duplicity.
From Pittsburgh to Buenos Aires, Delhi to Paris, I have been conducting an open-ended survey about infidelity.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating