Submissive girls dating love

Months went by after we'd broken up, but I couldn't get Doug out of my head. I was initially shocked, and yet it made perfect sense. I messaged him: "I didn't know you had this side of you.I began having fantasies about him like I'd never had about anyone. I'd heard about BDSM—bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism—but didn't know much about it. Wasn't it weird that I, a proud feminist, could enjoy something so degrading? Wink, wink." At first, we casually texted, catching up on each other's lives.

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We'd been friends for 18 years and she had been my maid of honor, but we haven't talked in nearly a year.

Sometimes I feel like I'm someone's dirty little secret. He lives in a huge house in a fancy Boston suburb; he plays golf, flies planes, runs marathons.

We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his belt.

I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way. Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it.

He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit.

On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me.

A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything.

A sub is willing to go to a place many people do not, or cannot, go. I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for nearly four years. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives.

(As embarrassing as it is to admit, he's a lot like Christian Grey.) And he has the perfect Stepford-looking wife. I couldn't imagine leading a double life like he does. Yet selfishly, my main concern is protecting him and our relationship.

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