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When I was in the eighth grade, we had Franken Berry and Count Chocula, right? There was another girl that hung out with her, who was real short, and she was dark. And that became their names, Franken Berry and Count Chocula. CM: I had a math teacher once who paid me to not come back to class. Don't come back." ES: You could say that was your first paycheck as a comic. You must've run into a few celebrities who wanted you dead.
There was one girl in my class who was really big, bigger than all the other girls, and she was very light-skinned and had acne, so she had red bumps all over her face. ES: No wonder everybody tries to strangle or stab you. I used to tease him so hard that one day he took me aside and said, "I'm gonna give you an 'A.' Here's 0. I'd been torturing him for three weeks, so I think he really wanted to kill me. You were part of your brother Eddie's entourage for a while. I know you don't believe this, but it really happened.
For a certain generation — those too young to remember the '80s — Charlie Murphy is the funny Murphy brother. It's not like those roasts, which aren't tributes at all. They knew each other's children, each other's wives, each other's families.
Eddie is the one who stars in family-friendly movies and reneged on hosting the Oscars, but Charlie is the renegade who still does stand-up tours and, if his "True Hollywood Stories" segments on are to be believed, once kicked Rick James's ass.
Universe I want to see him pose with keloids on his chest." ES: Keloids as in scars? "See how many shows you do after I carve your chest up. You may star in the next horror flick, but that's about it." ES: Did he respond?
ES: Not so scared that you didn't threaten to disfigure him.
I'd give them a hard time, and when it drove them crazy, that was funny to me.
ES: How do you talk down somebody when they're coming at you with a knife?
But if a comic says the wrong thing, there's a chance the audience will want to take you down.
A comic's like anybody else — he does what he does to support himself and feed his family. ES: Are there any subjects that shouldn't be joked about?
If they had a contest like that now, it would be all over the Internet. CM: Every Web site would have a picture of the guy who won the contest. ES: When he called those female basketball players "nappy-headed hos"? And everyone kept repeating it because they thought it was funny.
Remember when [Don] Imus made his gaffe on the radio, and the whole country went nuts?
Those people, that point of view — it's dying out, man.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating